so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
