So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
