We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
