I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
they're like a gay fantastic four
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
