Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
