Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
