Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
