Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
