Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
