I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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