I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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