butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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