who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
and she was petting her beer can
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
