okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
