i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
