He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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