I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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