Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
