Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
