That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
