We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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