I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
