Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
