You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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