I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have feelings that need drinking.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
