yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
