your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
where am i from again
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
