I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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