My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I understand Curling. That high.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
