Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
