Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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