I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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