I want to make a zoo with you.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dick very happy bro
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
