If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
