Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
