angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
this is an emotional support booty call
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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