there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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