You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
