I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
