I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
