oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
