Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
