Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
