i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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