I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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