just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
