hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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