What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize