thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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