would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
